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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29711208">i don't really want to</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/peepaweeb/pseuds/peepaweeb'>peepaweeb</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Volleyball, but also friends to lovers, slight pain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:48:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,837</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29711208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/peepaweeb/pseuds/peepaweeb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>yamaguchi wants to know what soulmates are. how they work. anything.</p><p>but someone is getting in his way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i don't really want to</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey guys! this is my first story and im so excited to share it with you all! updates may be reallyyy slow because im a student but ill definitely write when i can, thanks!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span class="s-rg-t">it</span> started back in middle school, where <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span> first heard of the term "<span class="s-bl-t">soulmates".</span> <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> definition of a soulmate, roughly, is a person who is bound to another person through intimacy and fate. <span class="s-rg-t">two</span> souls sharing one. <span class="s-rg-t">although, this</span> definition was extremely confusing to the young, 12-year-old <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span>. <span class="s-rg-t">after</span> all, how can a person be bound to another? <span class="s-rg-t">is</span> fate even real? <span class="s-rg-t">if</span> it's real, why can't he see it yet? <span class="s-rg-t">after</span> all, his mark hasn't even appeared.<br/>
<br/>
-<br/>
<br/>
soulmate marks are said to appear when both parties are interested and wish to find their soulmates. <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> marks usually start to appear right when both parties learn about soulmates. <span class="s-rg-t">usually</span> in school or from home.<br/>
<br/>
when you first meet your soulmate, the marks will turn from a bright white color to a warm, welcoming baby pink. <span class="s-rg-t">there</span> will be a tingling sensation that's almost unmistakable, indicating that your soulmate is found.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">these</span> marks appear as random symbols everytime, each one different, like a snowflake. <span class="s-rg-t">however</span>, each pair of soulmates has their own linking symbol, meaning their symbols match and are the same. <span class="s-rg-t">these</span> symbols can resemble numbers, chinese characters, activities, foods, animals, anything. <span class="s-rg-t">its</span> unknown as to what they mean, though.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">some</span> of these soulmate marks are said to disappear later in life, when one of the parties doesn't wish to know their soulmate anymore.<br/>
<br/>
some of them appear later on in life, as one becomes more interested in finding their one true partner.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">some</span> stay forever.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">and</span> some never appear. <span class="s-rg-t">although, this</span> is rather rare. <span class="s-rg-t">there</span> have only really been a few hundred cases ever recorded, in fact. <span class="s-rg-t">that</span>'s because soulmates are a tradition, and you would be lying if you said you wouldn't want to know yours... right?<br/>
<br/>
-<br/>
<br/>
his hand extended in front of him. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> reached to the sky, attempting to grab his destiny. <span class="s-rg-t">his</span> fate.<br/>
<br/>
give me someone sweet. <span class="s-rg-t">someone</span> who cares. <span class="s-rg-t">someone</span> who doesn't overlook me. <span class="s-rg-t">all</span> of me.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">with</span> that wish in his heart, his hand returned to his body, resting on his chest. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> was lying down, staring at the bright blue sky. <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> clouds were scattered, and the air was crisp, yet warm with the spring air. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> smiled to himself. <span class="s-rg-t">however</span>, his bliss was shortlived. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> heard a group of boys giggling from behind him. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> scrambled to get up and face them, but when he turned around, he was met with a sudden stinging and spray of sand , spouting at him. <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> sand of the playground was kicked toward his face. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> rubbed the sand away, careful not to scratch his eye with it. <span class="s-rg-t">however</span>, it was okay. <span class="s-rg-t">his</span> tears had already washed his eyes out of the sand.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">with</span> his face exceedingly red from embarrassment, he faced them with a pout. <span class="s-rg-t">their</span> laughs tormented his mind. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> was about to scream, but his voice wouldn't leave his throat. <span class="s-rg-t">his</span> soul had surrendered <span class="s-ve-t">to being</span> meek and powerless. <span class="s-rg-t">something</span> about their laughs and their faces... he somehow knew he could never fight back.<br/>
<br/>
"can you believe it, man? <span class="s-rg-t">tadashi</span> didn't know what soulmates were. "<br/>
<br/>
"and you're surprised? <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> bet he doesn't even have one. "<br/>
<br/>
... they weren't wrong. <span class="s-rg-t">why</span> would a runt like <span class="s-rg-t">tadashi</span> ever have a soulmate? <span class="s-rg-t">sometimes</span> he did find himself wishing that maybe, somewhere and somehow, someone would appear that would belong to him. <span class="s-rg-t">just</span> him.<br/>
with his eyes now red from the rubbing, he sobbed into his hands and hid his face from the boys. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> was so shameful. <span class="s-rg-t">so</span> embarrassing.<br/>
<br/>
"... pathetic. "<span class="s-bl-t"> spouted</span> a voice from behind the group. <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> voice made <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span>'s head perk up, his heart beating heavy in his chest. <span class="s-rg-t">his</span> hands rested on his chest, clutching at his shirt in an attempt to steady himself. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> gazed at the boy that stood just behind the group in front of him.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">he</span> was tall. <span class="s-rg-t">really</span> tall. <span class="s-rg-t">was</span> he in <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span>'s grade? <span class="s-rg-t">no</span> way, he was way too tall!<br/>
<br/>
"huh? <span class="s-rg-t">pathetic</span>? <span class="s-rg-t">who</span> you <span class="s-ve-t">callin'</span> <span class="s-rg-t">pathetic-</span>" one of the boys <span class="s-rg-t">trudded</span> over to the tall, blonde specimen, but quickly cowered <span class="s-bl-t">back.</span> <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> blonde boy knew his power and loomed over him, staring down into his eyes with his intense stare. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> rolled his eyes as he broke his stare, pushing his glasses up with a finger and walking away. <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> boys were gone at this point, scattering in fear of what the blonde boy might do if he came back. <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span> still sat, staring as the boy slowly walked away from the scene. <span class="s-rg-t">his</span> mouth hung open, and for a moment, he actually felt relieved.<br/>
<br/>
-<br/>
<br/>
as much as he hated to admit it, <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span> felt guilty for the other day. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> tried to find the <span class="s-bl-t">boy</span><span class="s-bl-t">, and</span> found himself outside of the boy's volleyball club gym at his school. <span class="s-rg-t">peering</span> in, he saw the taller boys, making spikes and tosses that looked impossible. <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span> saw a few volleyball games when he visited the beach and <span class="s-ve-t">stuff</span>, but never so up close and in such a... scary environment. <span class="s-rg-t">suddenly</span>, a figure emerged from behind him, sighing out as he walked past. <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span> gasped, causing <span class="s-bl-t">the </span><span class="s-bl-t">boy</span> to turn around quickly. <span class="s-rg-t">tadashi</span> felt his heart beat a little faster. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> fidgeted for a moment before he spoke up.<br/>
<br/>
"thank you!" he bowed quickly, swallowing down his fear as the boy furrowed his eyebrows at him.<br/>
<br/>
"who are you?" the boy asked, causing <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span> to freeze and laugh nervously. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> nervously rubbed the back of his neck, trying to explain himself before it got <span class="s-rg-t">weird-</span><br/>
<br/>
"<span class="s-rg-t">uh-</span> the park the other day..." he managed to mumble out. <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> blonde boy cocked his head to the side before finally realizing who <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span> was.<br/>
<br/>
"... oh. <span class="s-rg-t">you</span>," he mumbled, offering a quick shrug in response. <span class="s-rg-t">yamaguchi</span>'s face practically lit up from the boy suddenly recognizing him, allowing himself to giggle happily in response. <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> blonde boy rolled his eyes.<br/>
<br/>
-<br/>
<br/>
since that day, we've been inseparable. <span class="s-rg-t">sometimes</span> it felt like he was the only one that mattered, though.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> would get all the attention, and <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> would be here, along for the ride. <span class="s-rg-t">like</span> some terrible 2000s high school, coming-of-age movie. <span class="s-rg-t">the</span> main character and his goofy, cute best friend.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">well</span>, minus the cute part <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> guess.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">i</span>'m kinda surprised <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> never bothered to drop me. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> always thought <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> was a little annoying, especially to him. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> feel like our conversations are always one-sided, even when he starts them.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">but</span> that doesn't matter. <span class="s-rg-t">not</span> now anyway.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">high</span> school is starting soon.<br/>
<br/>
-<br/>
<br/>
"let's go check out the volleyball club. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> bet it'll be filled to the brim with airheads," <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> mumbled the last sentence, making me <span class="s-rg-t">snicker</span> in reply.<br/>
<br/>
"yeah, <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> bet so too. <span class="s-rg-t">remember</span> our middle school team? " <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> reminisced. <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> slowly nodded, rolling his eyes at the thought. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> tilted his head toward the doors to the back of the school, where the gym is located.<br/>
<br/>
"<span class="s-rg-t">c'mon</span>. <span class="s-rg-t">we</span>'ll see how sad it is. "<br/>
<br/>
-<br/>
<br/>
"goddamn! <span class="s-rg-t">just</span> how tall are you again?! "<span class="s-bl-t"> tsukki</span> and <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> stared blankly at the balding teenager, exchanging subtle side glances as we giggled on the inside.<br/>
<br/>
"<span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span>'s almost <span class="s-rg-t">6'3</span>. <span class="s-rg-t">pretty</span> cool, huh? " <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> advertised, smirking back at <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> who looked unbelievably bored. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> rolled my eyes playfully as him before turning back to the delinquent.<br/>
<br/>
"damn right! <span class="s-rg-t">my</span> doc said <span class="s-rg-t">i</span>'m all done growin', man... "<span class="s-bl-t"> the</span> boy nervously laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> quickly shook off his worries, facing us with even more spunk than before. "but <span class="s-rg-t">5'10's</span> still pretty damn good, right?!"<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">i</span> pursed my lips and <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> scoffed, pulling up his headphones to leave me alone to talk to this delinquent. <span class="s-rg-t">my</span> eyes widened and <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> gulped, turning back to see the <span class="s-rg-t">boy</span><span class="s-rg-t">'s</span> anxiously waiting eyes. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> shivered.<br/>
<br/>
"<span class="s-rg-t">y-yeah</span>, man. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> <span class="s-rg-t">mean-</span> <span class="s-rg-t">i</span>'m only <span class="s-rg-t">5'10</span> myself, so... " i trailed off, clearing my throat. " anyway, <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> think we'll get going now. <span class="s-rg-t">we</span>'ll be at practice tomorrow, though! " <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> grabbed <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span>'s wrist.<br/>
<br/>
the boy crossed his arms with a smirk, nodding at us.<br/>
<br/>
"yeah, bros. <span class="s-rg-t">and</span> don't worry about today, our coach just got caught up in some soulmate business, so it's kinda rough right <span class="s-bl-t">now..</span> " <span class="s-bl-t">he</span> looked off to the side, pursing his lips as he turned to face us again, this time with even more passion. <span class="s-rg-t">how</span> crazy is this guy?<br/>
<br/>
"<span class="s-rg-t">don'tcha</span> worry, though! <span class="s-rg-t">good</span> ol' upperclassman <span class="s-rg-t">tanaka</span>'s got your backs! "<span class="s-bl-t"> he</span> said, pumping his fist out in front of him. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> nervously backed away to the sliding doors, laughing with <span class="s-rg-t">tanaka</span> for a moment before running away entirely.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">we</span> <span class="s-or-t">ran</span> a couple of blocks from school before we stopped. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> bent over, hands on my knees as <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> tried to catch my breath. <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> was still behind, for he decided to jog instead. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> rolled my eyes, breathlessly giggling at just how composed he tries to be all the time. <span class="s-rg-t">it</span>'s almost refreshing.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">as</span> <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> saw <span class="s-bl-t">him </span><span class="s-bl-t">approach</span>, <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> noticed his headphones were pulled down. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> too was a little winded (albeit not as much as me, considering <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> ran)<span class="s-bl-t">,</span> so he stopped with me, gently panting. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> saw him take off his glasses, rubbing the backs of his lenses against his raven black school jacket. <span class="s-rg-t">his</span> hands gently worked to make sure the fogging on the lenses ceased to exist. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> put them back on, finally feeling composed again.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">it</span> had taken me a moment before <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> realized <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> was staring. <span class="s-rg-t">it</span> seemed he noticed, too.<br/>
<br/>
"ah! <span class="s-rg-t">sorry</span>, tsukki-," <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> nervously laughed it off as <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> closed my eyes to avoid any further awkwardness. <span class="s-rg-t">god</span>, awkward is practically my middle name, huh?<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">we</span> began walking. <span class="s-rg-t">it</span> was a silent agreement between us that the team was definitely not top notch, but hey, at least it 'll be fun, right? <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> saw <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> stop from the corner of my eye, also prompting me to stop. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> glanced back at him, cocking my head.<br/>
<br/>
"you okay?" <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> asked. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> simply shrugged, glaring at me for a moment before speaking.<br/>
<br/>
"that soulmate thing... crazy how we're highschoolers and still haven't gotten it yet, huh? "<span class="s-bl-t"> he</span> mumbled out, rolling his eyes as the thought. <span class="s-rg-t">he</span> pushed up his glasses.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">i</span> sighed out, slowly nodding.<br/>
<br/>
"yeah... kinda a bummer. <span class="s-rg-t">maybe</span> it'll come soon,” <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> mumbled, sighing as he held up his hand to the sky. “the constellations are beautiful tonight, huh?" <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> smiled at the sky as the moonlight softly kissed my face.<br/>
<br/>
<span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> ignored me.<br/>
<br/>
"you want to meet yours, <span class="s-rg-t">tadashi</span>?" he asked, beginning to walk once more. <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> followed, just a few inches behind as <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> prepared my answer.<br/>
<br/>
"<span class="s-rg-t">i</span> mean, who doesn't?" <span class="s-rg-t">i</span> asked, chuckling at the thought. <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span> fell silent again. <span class="s-rg-t">my</span> stupid grin slowly faded as my gaze fell onto <span class="s-rg-t">tsukki</span>'s pale, illuminated face. <span class="s-rg-t">his</span> eyes shone with a certain frustration, and his glasses were slightly tilted. <span class="s-rg-t">his</span> hand reached up to adjust them.<br/>
<br/>
it looked like he was trying to grab onto the right words.<br/>
<br/>
"<span class="s-rg-t">i</span> don't really want to," he muttered.</p><p> </p>
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